I Am The Span Of Seven Generations
I Am The Span Of Seven Generations
E163: A family story, Podcast guest with Nina Lockwood
the inspiration:
I messaged a few friends: What is something you would like me to write about?
I am the span of seven generations
This wish sits in the palms of my hands: “I am the span of seven generations.”
It is what connects my past to my present, and my present to my future. It infuses everything I write and my hopes for the future.
I am the span of seven generations.
I’ve understood this possibility in my bones ever since I met my Father’s Mother’s Mother … aka my Great-grandmother “Mai”. Three generations + me.
It is born out of having the memory and privilege of sitting at her table as a child and eating her food.
I remember watching my 4-foot and shrinking, 80-something great-grandmother, clad in her simple sari, her grey hair pulled back into a tight bun. I can remember the ringing of the pulley as the empty pot made its descent, hitting the water with a soft “thud”. I’d watch her draw a bucket1 of the sweet spring water from the 18-foot well. She would lean over her cutting board, dicing the potatoes, carrots and onions into little cubes with care and precision. In would go the veggies. In would go the water. Mai would fan the embers of the wood fire and the wonderful smell of food would fill her home. “You need something warm in your belly before you do your homework,” she would chide, ladling out another spoon of soup.
Mai had her share of suffering. She was a mother of three, widowed in her mid 20s just before the First World War. She is the inspiration for using the phrase “Courageous Parenting” in my book2, because it takes tremendous courage to parent. From her I learned that to parent is to cede control, put aside your hubris and pride, and offer your children the best opportunities within your sphere.
Up until a few weeks before her death from the flu, she was still active. She was in the fields, out shopping, cooking for her children, grand-children and great-grandchildren. There was not a problem that could not be solved after a prayer and good bowl of warm soup.
I am very lucky that I knew my great-grandmother, both my grandmothers, my mother - and I remember hearing and collecting their stories, the joys and the sorrows, of their lives, of their mothers and grandmothers.
I am the span of seven generations.
My very real dream is to live long enough to feed my own great-grandchild some real food someday. To take him/her to the beach in Goa and watch the little one wrinkle up their nose as their feet experience the sensation of squeaky white sand under foot, to watch their amazement as they are held in the gentle lapping waves of the Arabian Sea. Me + three generations. I want to stretch my arms wide, cuddle them in my lap and share with them the names, kindness and values and stories of my Great-Granny, Grandmothers, Mother … to continue this luscious string of pearls of wisdom that connects us to each other and threads its way onward through the universe.
I am the span of seven generations. I’m sending that wish out into the universe.
The Seventh Generation Principle
When I first shared this very private belief out into the world, I was surprised to hear local Canadians resonate with the principle. “Oh. You talking about the Seventh Generation Principle from the First Nations, eh?” (The land around the Credit River is where the Iroquois lived, fished and hunted).3
The origins and detail of my personal mantra are different. But I am pleased to see that both play to the long view. In the Iroquois leadership, someone has to evaluate each resource management decision from the perspective of someone seven generations from now … just beyond their own lifetime. It speaks to protecting the rights of Future Generations, to protecting the interests of the Earth, to planting a tree that will provide shade 200 years from now, or setting the foundation to a cathedral that will still be a place of worship 600 years in the future.
I just come at the same idea from a different angle.
Meantime …
The US members of our Tribe Tilt will be heading to the polls in the next week. If you have the privilege of being able to vote, please participate in this democratic rite of passage.
And as you make your mark on history, consider … is there a candidate on your ballot who follows the “Seventh Generation Principle”? Clear air and clean water know no borders.
Other essay’s that relate to this one:
Did you know I do podcast interviews? Our very own Tribe member Nina Lockwood interviewed me on her podcast “Get Your Happy Back”. We spoke about making transitions and How to Adapt to a Changing Work World. We talked about being at ease with unease, heirloom skills that anchor us, and transitions (which come at us all the way through life).
How to Adapt to a Changing Work World with Karena de Souza taped October 24, 2024
Contact me if you’d like me as a guest on your podcast
Our Tribe Tilt has grown rapidly over the last week. A post on LinkedIn, as well as Write of Passage brings many new members to our group.
You join a wonderful community that believes we can make a difference to the people and places that are precious to us, and that we have fun, hope and agency in our lives. We believe that the best ideas can come from anyone, anywhere, at any time. Please add your voice to our conversations.
Stay healthy. From there all else becomes possible.
Until next week …
Karena
Kosso in our local konkani dialect, it is a bright shiny copper pot for drawing water from the well, and carrying it. Similar in shape and colour this one:
https://www.etsy.com/nz/listing/1032717166/antique-rare-brass-copper-water-pot-holy
Contours of Courageous Parenting - Tilting Towards Better Decisions available on Amazon.
https://www.ictinc.ca/blog/seventh-generation-principle
Powerful issue Karena. I look at the folks who came before me with a whole new sense of wonder. You've raised some interesting thoughts here :)
Thank you Karina for reminding me of the enormous value of generational relationships. My parents are here visiting from the US and they are able to see their grandchildren and their great grandchildren! It is a thing of beauty and reinforces the truth of the connectedness of us all.