Separation is a state of mind, not miles
E103: We stay connected with those we care for
Today’s edition is written especially for my nephew who starts university far from home this week, and for his mother (my sister). I wonder, did you need to hear it too?
Separation is a state of mind, not miles
I don’t know if you needed to hear this today. I hope it will make things better for you, particularly as you are adjusting to this new moment “away”.
“Separation is a state of mind, not miles.” It was as if Grandpa was reaching through the veil, guiding my pen into this phrase as I drafted his eulogy. It seemed like he was reminding me, “We’ve been here before.” And as a family, we know that we can still stay connected.
The moments away are tough, and the separation significant. But our time away has purpose. Those we truly love are not separated by continents, oceans, or dimensions. Their prayers throw an invisible cloak of support around us, protecting us until we touch flesh again. Their words and wisdoms resurface unbidden at moments when we most need them, guiding us. This mindset helps us survive and believe that someone is waiting for us. 1
Whether it was politics, education, or economics, various generations of our family have been separated for years, sometimes decades. But they remained tethered to home.
And for those left behind — we worry about our children when they're far from us. But we give them confidence that we'll be here when they return and that they are loved, constantly.
Learning that we are forever loved.
Learning how to survive the moments apart, and how to thrive away.
Discovering ways to stay connected across place, space, and time.
These are heirloom skills.
But they are all the more important as we move into a 21st-century world of virtual reality, AI, and space travel.
Separation is a state of mind, not miles.
Dedicated to my Dad.
Other essays on separation and the parenting arc:
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See you next week. Till then, stay healthy. From there all else becomes possible.
Karena
Are you enjoying the shorter versions of the newsletter? I have been using Louis Pereira’s AudioPen to edit down & summarize my thoughts. His SuperSummary merges and summarizes two or more ramblings on the same topic. I used that function to collapse my various thoughts and experiences of partners separated by economics, students away for education, generations separated by borders, grandparents raising grandchildren, those separated by illness and death. Try it out
"Discovering ways to stay connected across place, space, and time. These are heirloom skills." And rare.
Best of luck to your nephew and your sister! May they stay connected.