Separation is a state of mind, not miles
E103: We stay connected with those we care for
Today’s edition is written especially for my nephew who starts university far from home this week, and for his mother (my sister). I wonder, did you need to hear it too?
Separation is a state of mind, not miles
I don’t know if you needed to hear this today. I hope it will make things better for you, particularly as you are adjusting to this new moment “away”.
“Separation is a state of mind, not miles.” It was as if Grandpa was reaching through the veil, guiding my pen into this phrase as I drafted his eulogy. It seemed like he was reminding me, “We’ve been here before.” And as a family, we know that we can still stay connected.
The moments away are tough, and the separation significant. But our time away has purpose. Those we truly love are not separated by continents, oceans, or dimensions. Their prayers throw an invisible cloak of support around us, protecting us until we touch flesh again. Their words and wisdoms resurface unbidden at moments when we most need them, guiding us. This mindset helps us survive and believe that someone is waiting for us. 1
Whether it was politics, education, or economics, various generations of our family have been separated for years, sometimes decades. But they remained tethered to home.
And for those left behind — we worry about our children when they're far from us. But we give them confidence that we'll be here when they return and that they are loved, constantly.
Learning that we are forever loved.
Learning how to survive the moments apart, and how to thrive away.
Discovering ways to stay connected across place, space, and time.
These are heirloom skills.
But they are all the more important as we move into a 21st-century world of virtual reality, AI, and space travel.
Separation is a state of mind, not miles.
Dedicated to my Dad.
Other essays on separation and the parenting arc:
She calls herself "Mother of Dragons"
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I’d dreaded becoming an empty nester. The very phrase had me on the edge of tears, visions of gazing into the void. I desperately needed a rebrand. “Wait. What am I moping about? I asked myself. “Isn’t this the very goal we’ve been working towards all these years? To raise responsible independent adults, confident enough to leave, and excited to make the…
Karena de Souza, B.Parenting
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It was a tiny moment buried in a blessing, tucked at the tail end of a celebration service. I found myself standing there, my fingers suddenly wet, wiping away a stream of unexpected tears from my face. Tears at the simplicity, hope, and truth of what was being stated.
Welcome to our newest members joining us from India, Canada, and the UK. As a tribe, we discuss raising future-ready leaders, climate, and the long view on the Future of Work. This is a community that believes in the best of humanity - connecting people, sharing ideas, and exploring thoughts respectfully. And we truly believe we can make a difference to the people and places that are precious to us.
See you next week. Till then, stay healthy. From there all else becomes possible.
Karena
Are you enjoying the shorter versions of the newsletter? I have been using Louis Pereira’s AudioPen to edit down & summarize my thoughts. His SuperSummary merges and summarizes two or more ramblings on the same topic. I used that function to collapse my various thoughts and experiences of partners separated by economics, students away for education, generations separated by borders, grandparents raising grandchildren, those separated by illness and death. Try it out
"Discovering ways to stay connected across place, space, and time. These are heirloom skills." And rare.
Best of luck to your nephew and your sister! May they stay connected.