Your relationships are a 21st century asset
E91: Rest & Recap 13 - Friends & Family IRL 7 - Crows edition
Coming to you live from Georgian Bay, near Lake Huron, Canada, where a murder of Crows is gathering.
The Crows are a group of eight writers who have been supporting each other in our writing journeys since June 2020. Between us, we have written ten books (not all publicly available) and are working on another six. Yes, we started as a pandemic group.
And this weekend we all meet as a “murder of crows” for the very first time in real life - flying in across continents and oceans so we can hug each other good morning, while fresh bread bakes, coffee brews and the sound of rain falls on the shingles above.
Welcome rain. Because you may have heard that there are forest fires raging across areas of Canada. The winds have been blowing the smoke down, changing the air quality, disrupting air traffic in JFK and LGA, and nearly obliterating the World Trade Center in NYC from view. So, “Welcome, Rain 🌧!” Fortunately, my view as I write is quite clear. It was not that way as I drove north from Toronto. But now “I can see for miles.”
You never know what you had till you almost lose it.
What is a “Rest” edition?
I publish in cycles of seven. (Why seven?) Every seventh edition of this newsletter is a moment to rest and reflect.
In Tribe Tilt, we talk about intentionally scheduling rest and recovery as a 21st-century-skill. In the “always-on new economy we have to make sure we do not burn out as our workdays stretch beyond the Industrial Era model of M-F 9-5.
Click the ARCHIVE tab to access previous editions.
Relationships are a 21st-century asset
This Rest theme was inspired by my recent opportunity to put flesh to the many virtual faces that have been my companions over the Covid years.
Seven weeks of travel — planes, trains and automobiles — may have been onerous. But the company I got to keep in the four countries I visited these past six weeks has more than made up for it! The hugs. The smiles. [Realizing how tall or short someone is in real life!] Learning about the other 80% of their interests and their lives that don’t fit into our regular 2-inch, 40-minute Zoom call.
Social Fitness
It reminded me of one of the longest longitudinal studies available, The Harvard Study of Adult Development. It tracks the lives of 724 men and their descendants starting in 1938. Half were 19-year-old Harvard students (including President John F. Kennedy). The other half was a control group from various parts of Boston.
One factor far outpaced all the others as an indicator for longevity. It was “Social Fitness”. A good range of “well nurtured” interpersonal connections was as - or more - important than exercise and good nutrition.
Finding balance in our lives was a message repeated from many graduation podiums these past weeks. Family and friendships are what will persist across our life journey, long after you have retired from your last job. ”Give them the best of you, not what’s left of you.” E59
I hope you will find time to rest with friends this coming week. If you cannot do it in person, pick up the phone and video call. Your body and mind will thank you.
Reflect: Digest of issues 85-90
Graduations and visits with friends&family filled these past editions. I would summarize the theme of this cycle as TRANSITIONS — one of the most important 21st century/Future of Work skills.
Most posts were set to auto-publish, with travel photos thrown in as wifi permitted. I’m sharing some of the many comments on what was valuable as you read. I appreciate that you reflect back on what mattered most in each article:
E90 - Karena de Souza. B.Parenting Graduation edition - celebrating my son’s achievements, and marking this key transition moment in my own life by sharing what I have learned as I earned my undergraduate degree in “parenting”.
It takes an awful lot of humility for sure to realize that our dreams for them can’t touch the paths they are forging for themselves. That also weirdly kinda makes me happy. Thank you -
E89 - Introducing Tilt member, wildlife photographer Ishan Shanavas and his latest project 100 faces
“Ishan has a really unique perspective and it comes out in his writing.”
E88 - Time travel back to my 20s
A timely visit back home reminded me how a twenty-year-old ‘knows’ they are invincible!
“We are always young in someone’s eyes” - this is so true.
And today we’re as young as we’ll ever be. So we might as well enjoy it! -
What stands out the most to me … stories of your father’s enthusiam for momentus occasions. Although from the sound of him, just a change in the seasons may have produced the same wonder. And I am struck that you have branded yourself as a futurist and see a bright possibility for the future, and that your future reach, like a spreading tree, is grounded by the deep roots of your past, specifically connection to parents and family. So maybe preparing kids for the future is just as much about providing them with a rich and stable past, community and family, as it is arming them with futurist competencies. Which comes full circle to your conscious parenting advocacy. I love that you are standing for this circle of life, past and future. If there is hope, it revolves in this sphere. -
Great tagline: "Better 90% perfect and published, over 100% unsaid". I tell my mentees something similar regarding incorporating feedback: feedback is important, but it shouldn't hold you back from publishing. -
There is something that sits underneath all this writing—your passion. I could feel it in each word. I feel like a better person after reading this. Bravo. -
Crow publications:
Here are my Crow sisters and their books that are publicly available along with links to where to buy them (I think we need our own imprint!)
Kathy Karn, ON, Canada - Wisdom of Elephants is a photographic marvel following the lives of the Amboseli Elephants. She also publishes an animal lovers newsletter Heartfelt Stories every Wednesday
Beverley Delidow, WV, USA - Dog Days, Short stories, working on an anthology
- , Co Tipperary, Ireland - Weather Report - a 90 day journal for self-reflection each page carefully designed. Each week she also reviews one of the books she has recommended in her newsletter
Lisa Orlick, AZ, USA - writing literary fiction
Jackie Alcalde Marr, CA, USA - writing historic fiction
Joann Malone, DC, USA - Awake to Racism. A social activist during the Vietnam War and Civil Rights movement, Joann was inspired to share her story after George Floyd’s murder. She has since written two other books on relationships.
Cindy Villanueva, FL, USA - Don’t Fight Mad - a Black Belt’s Guide to Recapture Joy She is now writing fictional romance.
Karena de Souza, ON, Canada - Contours of Courageous Parenting - Tilting Towards Better Decisions. I’m working on a non-fiction travel memoir on the ripple effect of traveling the world for a year with our young children, then aged four, six, and eight.
It is a privilege to be in their company, virtually and in real life.
Dear Tribe Tilt
So wonderful to see you again! And a warm welcome to the 13 subscribers who joined since the last Rest edition. Please DM me and introduce yourself. I often write my newsletter as a conversation with one Tilt member or another, so it helps to know you and your interests.
The Rest editions are a great way to share this newsletter with a friend as they get a six edition bundle!
I usually sign off each newsletter with:
See you again next week, Tribe Tilt. Till then, stay safe and healthy. From there all else becomes possible.
Well, I had a little scare recently. I worried about my eyesight last week. An irritated eye turned red. One thing led to another, and suddenly I found myself in ER as convex bubbles kept showing up in my right eye (an allergic reaction to the drops I was using). After a few antibiotics, much stress, and enforced distance from my screens, I am recovering. Things are still a little bit blurry while reading, but so so much better. But it was a stark reminder to:
a. rest
b. hydrate
c. not take our health and senses for granted
You never know what you had till you almost lose it.
Karena
I’m glad you are recovering, dear Karena. This issue is a reminder for me that I can’t always be on, so I need to build a process that anticipates rest--or the thing will take itself, abruptly, perhaps without notice, but certainly. The fear of resting at an inopportune time feels a lot like FOMO, and I am actively releasing that. Intentional scheduled sprints and rest will get me further and help me last longer. I’ve got to continue reminding myself of this--reading Tilt the Future is also a great reminder.
I’m looking forward to checking out The Crows’ books, and glad you had so much adventure and connection these last weeks. What a joy to meet internet friends IRL.
In the mid-Atlantic region we were affected by the air quality. The children had indoor recess Thursday and Friday because of it. Some things we certainly take for granted!
And thank you! I’m excited to be included in this week’s edition. I shared your wisdom with my best friend who is also raising littles. We feasted on this idea that our dreams for them are smaller than their own. It is for sure encouraging. We are continuing to actively look for ways to encourage and foster that exploration before we become their chauffeurs.
Looking forward to this exploration and all their imaginations dream up! Thank you as always for the encouragement.
What a great view Karena - Interpersonal connections generates life's best moments. It drives friendships, stimulating discussions and a lot energy to act. This will continue to grow.