"Gifts Upon Gifts" - Check In On One Another

E121: Sharing Guest Essays by Brooke Smith and Alissa Mears

Dateline: Goa, India

My mother is Queen Bee. Since she announced her visit to India, many of the family adjusted their November-February plans to swarm around “Avo¹”.

It has also been a great way for my extended family to reconnect in person. We could dream of a family reunion, but we are scattered through too many educational and age geographies to make that happen with ease. We settle for and leverage what we are able to create - private moments together. Connections that we no longer take for granted.

My sister gifted us with some beach time. I watched siblings living in separate cities reconnecting. There have been early morning walks watching the catch come in. Small sunbed huddles. Sunset walks through the warm waves. Cousins a few months apart in age and opposite ends of the oceans catching up on life plans.

Which is why I picked these two essays to share with you as we start the new year. I think their messages compliment each other beautifully. It is as much a reminder to myself, as a recommendation to Tribe Tilt. Alongside our goals and project plans for the year, let’s keep a stack of stamps and cards. Relationships happen in the details and trivia of life. Do you know how your brother likes his coffee? How is your favorite friend or aunt doing? Gift them your undivided attention for a few minutes, via a videocall, a postcard or a coffee chat. Share forward a few words.

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Love Letters - for friends who share words

Author: Alissa Mears
Newsletter: Pitching a Tent Without Poles

I’m not rich, but sometimes I’m embarrassed by the glut of gifts I’ve gotten in the form of words. “I thought you might like this”, for me, is a form of kinship. 

To trust someone with words you adore, words that infuriate you, words that change you, words that you think they need, is love.

And I fear I’ll never be able to send all the words I want to send in this lifetime.

I don’t have the gift of time. I have a full-time job, a part-time job, four young children, and I live in an extraordinary city [London] that I refuse to ignore. But what too little time has taught me, what Heather taught me 26 years ago, what friends have taught me since is to say the words, to name the feelings, and when I don’t have the words to express them, to send someone else’s words.

To say to them: how deeply in love I am with you, my friends.

When moments matter, don’t keep them to yourself

Author: Brooke Smith
Newsletter: Brooke Smith’s Newsletter

My brother and I get along great. We always have. But the Tiny Love Story brought up the question that I didn’t want to acknowledge: What do I really know about my brother? Why does it feel like I have a surface-level relationship with someone I’ve known for their entire life? I don’t know how he likes his coffee. I don’t know what he likes to eat for breakfast. I don’t know who he is, truly.

Read both full essays and jump-start a precious relationship in the new year:

Love Letters

and

When moments matter, don’t keep them to yourself

I love these writers, both members of Tribe Tilt. I recognize so much of my own work/life balance journey in their story telling, as they juggle parenting (and sibling-ing, and child-ing, spousing and friend-ing) with interesting career choices, and then writing about it too! I hope you will consider subscribing to their newsletters.

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Happy Healthy New Year, Tribe Tilt.

We are a wonderful group, who believe we can make a difference to the people and places that are precious to us - that we have hope and agency within our own lives that ripples through to others. You each inspire me and give me hope for the future of this world!

[Try and] Stay healthy. From there all else becomes possible. I’ve been struggling to feel well for the past week, and am really greatful to

Brooke Smith

and

Alissa Mears

for allowing me to share their wonderful essays with you.

Have a wonderful start to the New Year. Hope to see you again next week.

Karena

Would you like to join our Tribe Tilt?

1. Avo is the portuguese word for Grandmother. Goa was a Portuguese colony until 1961. My mother’s primary education language was Portuguese and it is still spoken between her siblings. I called my grandmother Avo, and my kids choose to call my mother Avo too. Our local dialect is Konkani (we are on the Western Ghats and the Konkan coastline of India) which is a blend of Sanskrit, Marathi, Hindi and Portuguese. My mother learned English, Arabic, Swahili as her life took her to different places. Comparatively, I only speak English, and am stumbling through household renos with rudimentary Konkani and high school Hindi. DuoLingo challenge in my 2024 future?