Dateline: Goa, India
“Did I tell you the story of how Great-Grandpa proposed to Great-Grandma across a balcony?” “How are you related to us?” “Avo, tell us about traveling from Kuwait to Kampala for your wedding.” That last one is a doozy!
It has been a privilege to be with my mother in our family home these past months. Sisters, nephews, aunts, children have floated in and out of Goa as their work and study schedules permit. I get to hear the variety of questions they ask — about our family home, our family history, the soil, the breadfruit plant, our traditions, the monsoons, the history of our church.
With her grandchildren gathered around her, my mother happily revisits various moments of our lives. As I watch her, I see again the centuries-old tradition of griots gathering around the fireplaces, telling fables, stories of journeys, overcoming obstacles and scaling trials. Except our conversations are often around a table loaded with food or sitting together on the “balcaõ”.
From Kuwait to Kampala
“Tell us again about your journey to your wedding, Avo.”
My mother left Kuwait, where she was working for SAS (Scandinavian Airlines), to marry a man she had only met once in person for five minutes. Their entire courtship had been via airletter form. He proposed and she accepted via letters written in cursive. Their marriage would last 56 years.
As a parting gift her manager offered her a free ticket on SAS to Kampala, Uganda. “There was only one condition. I had to fly on the jump seat.” And yes, those rules were the same as now - if a standby crew member needed that seat, you got turfed off.
This was 1961. There was only one flight a week into East Africa on SAS - from Athens, Greece to Nairobi, Kenya. As a result, her journey to her new life on a new continent zigzagged the globe. Her journey would take days, routing her from Kuwait, with a few days in Beirut, then onto Athens. After catching some famous ancient sights she excitedly showed up at the airport … only to get bumped off that flight.
[As she tells her story, she loses her tremors and her voice gets stronger. Through the memories and the smiles, you see the 24-year-old bride-to-be again within her. Her grandchildren lean in closer …]
She had to think on her feet and work with local staff to re-route. To get her to the church in time for her wedding they offered a different path to Africa via Iran - Karachi - Nairobi and finally into Kampala. Along the way she had to choose which suitcases to send unaccompanied. “I could only take one suitcase with me, so I had to repack. Of course, I made sure I had my wedding dress and enough clothes as a new bride for the first few weeks!” And sent the rest into the possible black hole of luggage travel. (Yes. This was 1961. But it seems like nothing changes.) Her journey ended up taking her 12 days. “And I was complaining about my 37-hour journey to get to India,” realized one grandchild.
Storytelling solves problems. It saves, transforms, and restores.
— Dekera Greene Rodriguez
Stories are warm hugs. They wrap us like duvets of comfort and possibility. These tales are now family lore, part and parcel of our family DNA. I would not be surprised if her grandchildren’s passports were plugged directly into their bloodstream, infused by travel stories such as these! After all, if their 86-year-old grandmother could be so bold, resourceful and adventurous when she was their age, when travel technology was still primitive, what stops them today? One grandchild just completed a 55-hour trek returning to university in the US. Another took 4 days traveling to Costa Rica via Delhi-Miami with his own lost luggage story. Yet another grandchild just completed 21-days traveling through India-Thailand-Cambodia-Vietnam-Singapore-Japan (with only carry-on).
No one enjoys a bad travel experience. But they discover a special brand of patience when placed in the context of their grandmother’s journey.
Weaving threads through oral storytelling
While family stories are the verbal DNA that connects a prior generation to a future one, we are also contributed to by hearing the stories of those around us. We learn the history, we recognize why apps and technologies are created to remove obstacles and smooth the path, we get a summarized download of all the wisdom accumulated over centuries.
My children, in particular, have been the beneficiaries of so much generational wisdom, gathered not just from their grandmother, but aunts, grand uncles, and various villagers, too.
Yesterday Andrew got a private tour of the village on the back of a scooter with one of the village chroniclers. She introduced him to a local neighbour/farmer who allowed Andrew into his field, and taught him the art of how to rhythmically dip the long bamboo arm into the the traditional artesian wells that dot the landscape in these winter months irrigating the baby vegetables and nitrogen rich roots that replenish the nutrients in the paddy fields. He got ‘paid’ in produce and came home with armfuls of brilliant red tambde bhaji (red amaranth) and bright white mooli (diakon), flecked with the soil from the field.
These griots and family share their stories. They pass along their wisdom. They encourage creativity. They create new possibility. They preserve family lore. Generation down to new generation. To anyone willing to listen.
Through our shared storytelling - and story-listening - we continue to weave new threads into the blanket of possibility that makes our collective tomorrows more plausible.
A special thank you for encouragement and editing help this week go to these Tribe Tilt members:
They got me over my slump this week, and thanks to them we have edition 124. Publishing is a team sport!
Thank you to all the new members of our Tribe Tilt. And welcome!
We believe we can make a difference to the people and places that are precious to us - that we have hope and agency within our own lives that ripples through to others.
Stay healthy. From there all else becomes possible. Treat your health as the precious resource it is.
Karena
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Your mama's stories never fail to make me smile. There is so much joy and courage in that woman. She reminds me of the woman in Proverbs 31:28-29
Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Your family is so blessed!
I love how much stories you're able to hear from your family members. That comes from curiosity, openness, and a lot of love. Thanks for sharing that!