Dateline: Goa, India
“Have you taken a minute, and done something for yourself?”
“Have you had a glass of water, or taken a wee?” my sister asks. “Stop. Do it now. Then come back and care for me.” I pause - and realize she is right. I’d been on my way to the loo when I realized we needed to replenish the liquid handsoap. As I grabbed that out of the cupboard I decided to throw in a load of laundry into the washing machine standing there, so the next visiting family member had clean towels and sheets. I emptied out the pockets, found a message I had to save, got called by my mother to help with something, had to negotiate with the contractor who discovered our wall needed cementing, then checked back in on my sister who had foot surgery. An hour had passed and I hadn’t yet made it to the bathroom!
Her mantra “Take a minute to do something for yourself” is a way of reminding me that we cannot care for others if we are depleted. A variant on “parents please place your own oxygen mask on first”.
This invitation to self-care, to stop and listen to our bodies is a very important 21st century skill. [Surely it has always been important, I hear you argue. I agree. But] in a world where we are constantly bombarded with signal, it becomes even more important to stay in touch with ourselves.
Her words have inspired me. And I share this sage wisdom of my sister (and my daughter in last week’s edition E127: “Permission to lay down a plate”) in the hopes that a young frazzled parent or a coach trying to keep all the balls up in the air finds the few minutes to sit and get centered.
I’m off to “do something for myself”. I’m going to draft this edition.
Hiatus
Life has a way of throwing us wobblies. Last week, I was part of a panel discussion at the Goa Arts and Literature Festival, promoting my book that my mother is reading in this photo.
This week? Wobbly. An ultrasound revealed that my mother has some serious health issues.
I only have one Mama. You know where I will be directing my energies over the coming weeks and months. My streak ends here.
Tribe Tilt is also my family and this newsletter has been my grounding moment each week. In a reverse Indra Nooyi moment, it is where I remind myself of who I am beyond being a daughter, caregiver, parent, sibling, cousin and friend. During weeks of chaos, it reminds me of the passage of time. I hope to continue sharing new and interesting content, including life lessons learned in this important moment. But if life catches me in a vortex …
Please hold my mother and our family in your prayers.
Blessings!
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Wishing you and all those you love a wonderful season of joy, peace and recovery.
Stay healthy. From there all else becomes possible.
Karena
I'd define a streak as the ability to consistently attend to one's values, in which case, you're not missing a step. God bless to your mom and family.
This is such an important reminder, Karena. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
I wish you, your mom, and your family all the best. 💙