Self-confidence is a 21st-century skill
E27: Our words can inspire confidence in others
Nine new members joined our Tilt community in the past week. Welcome! Thank you for accepting this weekly dose of hope in your inbox. Edition 27 came out of a concept that David Perell (Write of Passage) calls “writing from conversation”. What skills are more valuable in a world that is constantly changing? Share this message forward and use it to create discussions on the things that matter. I look forward to seeing you again next week.
Karena
PS. OK. I guess it had to happen sometime. I did not receive the email linked to this post at its scheduled time. Neither did you! The coder in me is setting out to debug. And the irony that this post is titled “Self-confidence” is not lost on me!
Confidence
I want to start a discussion on confidence as a 21st-century skill. It’s been spinning in my mind for the past few weeks, ever since David Dvorkin posed it as a question to the panellists judging the My Brother’s Keeper project.
My gut tells me this is an important conversation. My thoughts are still a work in progress, absorbing great feedback from @Melissa Menke, @Lyssa Menard and @Laila Faisal on the topic.
If self-confidence is one of those foundation, EQ, persistent skills, how do we create an environment for it to flourish?
Great mentoring is paid forward
Mentoring is a precious gift, particularly if we receive it when we are young. We plant a seed of confidence in a young mind when we do it correctly. And the payback is potentially immense.
Many adults can point their success back to a family member (parent, grandparent, aunt), teacher or supportive coach.
My confidence cocktail
I want to talk about this topic with clarity, so I’ve been exploring my own relationship with confidence in my journal over the past weeks. I see these themes on the page repeatedly:
I know that I am loved. Unconditionally. Should all else fail, I can come home and there would be a hug and comfort - no questions asked. This is a giant safety net.
By taking away the fear of failure I am/was set free to explore and experiment. I can envision different ways around a problem, a range of distinctly different outcomes. This has been a boon for me as a futurist. (Unfortunately, it means I am a terrible decision-maker when shopping for an outfit for a special event!)
The influential people in my life let me know that they expect(ed) good things from me and let me know I am capable of challenging myself.
This was - and remains - a potent cocktail. It gave me the confidence to take calculated risks - such as the decision to accept a one-year contract for a programming job with Morgan Stanley on a different continent at a young age. My foray into the alternate worlds of the future puts me in a position where I force people to confront truths that they hold as sacred, and requires me to trust in my own judgement.
What are your thoughts on confidence?
Where has confidence played a role in your life journey? What factors helped you develop that conviction?
I’m still working on a longer essay on the importance of self-confidence, and would really like to hear and incorporate your experiences, challenges and thoughts on the topic.
Meantime, let us remember that we each wield immense power over younger minds. Are you a coach, a teenager’s first part-time job manager? Or a teacher, a performing artist, or a parent? Or an older sibling?
Your words matter.
Your encouragement matters.
Your life experiences matter.
Your support matters.
Your belief in their ability to influence their own futures matters.
Let us take the opportunity to do more of it. And do it well.
Make great memories
“Make great memories.” That is what my aunt shared with me the year I turned 21. It was a short phrase in a casual conversation based on her life journey. But it became a pivotal motto in mine. “Make great memories, because life will inevitably serve you up some dark moments. The memories help you navigate through those.”
You have no idea how your words might reverberate forward through many generations. Who will you inspire this week with your encouragement?
This post was inspired by this question and the panellists’ responses to it:
“Wholuck” is a term that refers to the people who happened to be in your life by chance who had a tremendous impact on the trajectory of your life.
P.S. “The more we know”. Knowledge shared helps various communities. Please contact me if you see an opportunity for me to share my messages around the Future of Work with a wider audience.
In this series:
Thanks for emphasizing the importance of self-confidence, Karena. It might be helpful to think about the related concept of self-efficacy: self-confidence is the feeling that you can do something, self-efficacy is the belief that you can do something.
Most of the time, the belief and the feeling co-occur...but the mind's beliefs and the gut's feelings are not always in sync. And there's some evidence that there may be subtle differences in how to nurture each of them.
(We're having to deal with this as part of our effort to develop self-confidence and self-efficacy in employee-led workplace innovation, where there are also other issues about identify and motivation as innovators.)
Love Make great memories Karena!