"Courageous" parenting

E122: Featuring Angie Wang Podcast Edition 86

Dateline: Goa, India

It is the absolute tension of parenting — of allowing them to fly. And yet every fibre of your being, every cell within your body wants to say “Stay here. Stay close”. And I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage, as a parent, to let them go.

In keeping with my “rest” philosopy, I took a down day today. Delicious fresh fish comes to the door, and I got a good lesson from my mother in whole food butchery. She glared at me as I set the fish heads for the compost. “No waste.” Those poor fish faces staring at me are now part of a fish head stew. And the fish? Fried with ginger and garlic in coconut oil. Flaky and delicious!

To distract myself from their disapproving glares, I put on a set of headphones and listened to Angie Wang’s recently published podcast interviewing “moi”.

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Angie Creates podcast E86

Author:

Angie Wang

Newsletter:

Angie Creates

Our conversation took me back in time. Angie caught me in June 2023 - the week after my youngest child graduated university! I was still very reflective, nostalgic and coming off a major throat infection. Angie, with her partner Paul Millerd (renowned author of The Pathless Path) are new parents themselves and much of what we talked about was how we follow a pathless path as parents.

From Angie’s show notes:

• [56:33] Her advice to parents who are exploring the pathless path and [01:04:50] new moms like me who just started our parenting journey (including a discussion on the heirloom / persistent skills, the importance of making good friend groups, and learn to advocate for themselves). But life-changing for me - “you are the only parents they know”.

• [50:12] How she gave her children the freedom to make decisions and trust their own instincts, particularly if they are on the pathless path

• [08:30] How 911 impacted her life and [15:00] led her to travel to 16 countries with her family when her kids were 4,6,8. (Angie is a great interviewer, and I see our journey through a different lens as I listen back, including asking how other members of our family accepted our decision to travel for a year with young children, home education, etc)

• [37:10] The ripple effects of the trip (Bonus at 47:47 when I realize how I cannot pre-determine the experience my children will take away from an event) “She is going to decide what is magical for her”

• [02:15] Her story of growing up in Uganda and then moving to Goa, India, the UK, the U.S., and Canada

Sitting in Goa, seven months later, living under the same roof as my mother and son, I hear so much more nuance in the conversation and insightful questions Angie asked me. I see how I keep falling into the pattern of parenting as I was parented. And I see - again - the connection that my family continues to establish in this little corner of Goa.

Thank you Angie!

Angie referenced two of my previous essays:

• Karena de Souza, B.Parenting

• Letting Go - Till Death Us Do Part, a Parenting Love Letter

Book: Contours of Courageous Parenting

Listen to the full Angie Creates episode here, or on your favourite listening platform:

#86 Contours of Courageous Parenting ft Karena de Souza

https://angiecreates.transistor.fm/episodes/86-contours-of-courageous-parenting-ft-karena-de-souza

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If this episode sparks any question, please share them in the comments below.

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Tribe Tilt comprises a wonderful group, who believe we can make a difference to the people and places that are precious to us - that we have hope and agency within our own lives that ripples through to others.

Hope to see you again next week. Till then, stay healthy. From there all else becomes possible. (h/t Akiko)

Karena

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